A REFLECTION ON SELF-LOVE, BOUNDARIES, AND BECOMING
For much of my life, self-love felt like something to achieve rather than something to embody. It was shaped by how I believed I needed to be perceived or how others told me it should be. Strength was something I performed. Boundaries were something I defended. And worth often felt as though it lived outside of me rather than at my center. I just didn’t understand how to attain it. I now understand how much of that came from learning early to dim myself.
Being the scapegoat in a family system teaches you to live away from your own center. You learn to carry what is not yours, to stay vigilant rather than open, and to measure yourself through external narratives instead of internal truth. For years, my presence was cautious rather than luminous, shaped more by survival than alignment. I had not yet learned how to remain connected to it with steadiness. It limited me in so many ways personally and professionally.
Over time, through dedicated practice and ritual, that relationship with myself has shifted. Self-love has become a bridge between my body, mind, and subtle energy. Simple rituals like bringing awareness to breath and noticing subtle shifts in my energy helped me anchor in my own center. They allowed me to stay open without overextending, to soften without collapsing, and to connect to my core truths naturally. From there I could hear the soft whisper of internal truths and self knowing that were always there.
I often say, “I don’t negotiate my worth,” not as a declaration of toughness, but as an acknowledgment of grounded self-awareness. When your internal alignment is steady, external challenges no longer dictate your energy. When value is known internally, it does not need to be defended. It remains warm, stable, and intact, even under pressure.
This awareness has allowed me to live more comfortably in both my strengths and my limitations. I no longer experience them as fractures that require fixing. They inform one another and create balance. There is a softness in how I move through relationships now, paired with firmness where it matters.
In this next phase of life, I feel closer to the essence of who I was as a child; free, curious, and untethered by old expectations. The burdens of past roles, inherited beliefs, and self-erasure no longer cloud my purpose. My daily self-care practices have made it possible to hold space for myself, even as I remain fully present with others.
Self-love, I have learned, is stabilizing. It is the energy that allows us to show up fully, with clarity, discernment, and presence. From that place, connection becomes authentic, boundaries feel natural, and the heart no longer needs to hide in order to stay safe.
Reflection Prompt:
Which daily practice or ritual helps me anchor in my own center and radiate presence from there?
Tara, Founder, Thara Sacra